Thursday, January 29, 2015


Hey there! I just wanted to let you know that I've moved over to and all new content will be posted there now.

I've had a lot of help with the new site and it's great to be able to have blog posts, music tracks, and videos all in one place finally. Yay! =)

I hope you'll come visit me at my new stomping ground!
Adriel =)

Friday, November 7, 2014

"I Will Not Forget" - Story Behind the Song

I had my facts a little wrong when I made the video for this song, but they weren't so terribly off to justify a redo (and honestly, I didn't want to redo the whole thing). The truth is, we hadn't yet opened our restaurant. We were just a couple of months away from opening actually. But those months before the opening were very busy and stressful. I guess it felt like we were open already! Anyway, sorry about that! =/

I looked back in the journal from when I wrote this and there was a combination of health issues and life itself (opening a restaurant, along with all the other stuff) that was weighing on me. The journal entry below contains my prayer to the Lord for that day and what He spoke to my heart:

1-8-07 "...You have made me glad in spite of how the natural things are. I'm going to rejoice in You today for all You are in my life and all You've done. Nothing compares to You, Lord. Your goodness is better than anything in my life being good. I will continue to praise You and thank You for the difficulties. You have upheld me with Your strength and taught me how to rely on You. As You continue teaching me more, help me to be grateful for Your hand in my life. Give me a grateful heart.

'...You can enjoy this time and not just bear it with clenched teeth. Continue rejoicing in Me and giving Me glory. Find the blessings that I have given you and be thankful for them. Don't concentrate on what is not right as you think. Exercise to see the blessings. There are more than you can imagine. A heart of thanks will be filled with joy. A heart filled with joy will find strength beyond the natural. Continue praising Me and resting in Me. There are green pastures here, but you have to look carefully for them. There is refreshment and enjoyment for you here...Be diligent to have a grateful heart full of praise and thanksgiving.'"

No matter how old the message is, it still applies to me today. Focusing on what is good, how good God is, all that He has done - this is as much of an exercise today as it was then. Regardless of what I'm facing and how hard it may be, I must not forget the Lord's abundant mercies toward me. With that in view, I have joy and strength to keep going.

One of my favorite lines in this song is in the bridge: "When You allow the battles to show me I am safe."

Here's the vid!

Have a blessed day, remembering all the tender mercies and faithfulness of the Lord today! =)

All glory to Jesus,

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Songwriting is Painful

Real, raw honesty coming your way in 3-2-1. If you're not ready for it, now is the time to stop reading and leave...right's coming.

Is it safe now? Okay, here we go.

I want to talk about the painful side of songwriting today. The songwriting that makes me cringe and I draw away from the idea of it a little. The reaction inside of me is something like, "No...not a song about that...please!?" And yet, I'm somehow compelled to write about it regardless of my feelings.

Songwriting can be really, really painful. It can be one of the most gut-wrenching experiences. Sometimes. Not all the time, but sometimes. There are some songwriting seasons that are more painful than others when the painful songs seem to come one right after the other. Other times, there are seasons of songwriting bliss. We're not talking about the songwriting bliss today...sorry. ;)

Songwriting is a collision of truth, thoughts, emotions, and music. It makes me face myself, face situations, face God, face people, face fears, and face memories in a way that completely disarms me. I don't know if that is because of the music or the fact that I can freely write everything on my heart in a way that feels safe.

God uses songwriting in my life as a way to mold my heart and purify me. He uses it to help me sort things out and get my mind thinking straight again, to believe what's true when I'm in the middle of doubt, to make me stronger in my faith in the face of adversity. I honestly don't know what I'd do without songwriting. I would feel really lost without it.

Last week, I was in the process of writing a song that was very difficult to write. It was one of those terribly painful songs. It made me put into words a memory that I had practically blocked from my mind. God used something last week which caused me to remember it and when I did, it was like a dam breaking. I broke down in sobs and there was a flood of tears.

And I knew there was a song there. No matter how much it hurt to write it, as a songwriter, I knew I had to write this song. Once I know a song must be written, there's no turning back. It's gotta come out!!

And when I started writing the song, I found something sweet that I hadn't expected to find in the middle of the nightmare. God wanted me to discover that sweet part. And I found some healing too that meant so much. As much as the song itself puts a lump in my throat and brings me to the verge of tears, it was worth writing and it was a blessing to my heart.

And isn't that just like God to do that? God always knows what He's doing. =)

Grateful for God's ways which are so different than my own,

Friday, September 26, 2014

"Treasure" - Story Behind the Song

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."
Matthew 6:19-21

Photo credit: "Treasure Chest" by Flickr user Tom Praison
CC license:

What do laundry, a new baby, and this passage of scripture have in common? Anyone? =)

If you're scratching your head and wondering what you missed, don't worry. You didn't miss anything! =)

The answer is this song, "Treasure". The manner in how this song was written is a bit unusual, but I think the Lord works in mysterious, and might I say, unconventional ways.

Our third child was just a few days old (I say a few weeks in the video...I should have checked my notes on the song), I was in the middle of doing laundry, and there was a cry in my heart in the middle of the newborn madness for the Lord. A new baby changes life drastically, and being only a few days into the adjustment, using every waking moment to get something done, my heart was missing the quieter moments with the Lord.

And He knew that. With a touch of sweetness and humor, there I was doing laundry and out of my mouth came the first verse for "Treasure". In my laundry room! haha! I don't know how the Lord was able to speak that song to my heart, but He must have had to shout it, because I'm pretty sure I was too frazzled to hear a whisper.

But in a sense it was a whisper. It was a whisper of, "I love you and I care about you. In this crazy season of life, keep me at the center of your focus. I'm everything you need and more. I'm your Treasure," that made everything at that moment fade away while I worshiped the Lord right there in my laundry room. It was a special, sweet moment that I won't ever forget.

Photo credit: "A little treasure..." by Flickr user Simon Ska
CC license:
Songwriting and being in the word of God go hand in hand. God uses the scripture that is tucked away in my heart or the verses that I've been meditating on to draw out a song. The lyrics for "Treasure" focus on some aspects of what and who God is to me. The song is certainly not exhaustive (that would be impossible), but they cover somewhat of a broad range of all that God is.

My hope is that this song encourages you in your walk with Christ and that you would be able to see all that Jesus is to you and more. Many blessings to you through Christ our Savior!

All glory to Jesus!

Friday, September 19, 2014

In the "Studio"

I've been asked if I go to a studio to record and/or what the set up looks like for my "home studio", so I thought I'd show you guys some pics I've taken over the past few months of recording.

   First of all, no, I do not go to a recording studio to record. I've never set foot in one. I have no idea what that experience would be like, but I can only imagine how nerve-wracking that would be.

   I record at home. And from these pictures, you'll be able to see that it's really a simple and humble set up. Bonus days, my brother acts as my "sound engineer" and takes care of the software while I lay down vocal tracks. But a good amount of the time, it's just me in our front room with couch cushions and pillows thrown around (as my bass Hey, it works! That tip was given to me by another singer/songwriter. =)

   When I make the YouTube videos, I use my phone to record the video on a tripod that I have sticking out of the banisters on the stairs. I am all about super high tech, guys! lol! For awhile, the phone videos were working out okay and picking up most of what I was singing. But after a recent piano tuning, the piano got louder and I couldn't sing above it anymore in the videos. The piano developed some kind of ego after the tuning or something...I don't know. (Is that a fluke thing, or has that happened to anyone else after a piano tuning?)

Thankfully, I learned a tip from a fellow singer/songwriter, who does videos also, on using a mic during recording and putting the video and the audio together in a separate program after recording. I've been playing around with that, hoping to pick up my vocals more, which it has, but now the piano is a bit muffled. I guess the piano's ego is a bit hurt by me using the mic and is now not trying very hard. haha! =)

   In the closet under the stairs, I keep my keyboard there and put all my recording equipment away in there when I'm done with it. If/when I do any arrangements, I do that in the closet too.

   So that is my "studio" in a nutshell. I'm not going to go into detail about my software or all the little steps that go into recording a song, because it would be extremely boring to write as well as for your to read. But it is quite a process to get a song done from start to finish.

Yeah...we're weird. =P

Thanks for visiting!


Saturday, August 16, 2014

The Miracle of Healing, Pt. 4

   Today, I'm wrapping up my series on The Miracle of Healing. I'm relieved to be at the end of this series and I'm excited to move on to sharing more of my journey with you. You can find the previous parts of this series by following these links: Part 1, Part 2, & Part 3.

   Here I am, writing about healing, but before I saw any improvement physically, I got worse. Yes, worse! What in the world does getting worse have to do with healing, you might ask. As I've mentioned before, I truly believe God is more concerned with our spiritual health than our physical health.

   As my health continued to decline despite countless prayers, medical intervention sought and lifestyle changes I made, thinking they would somehow better my situation, I realized I was losing control rapidly. The situation was just running away from me. I thought I could somehow control what was happening. Who was I kidding?! I was never in control to begin with!

   I could hardly do anything! The harder I pushed to get better, the worse I got. The more I tried controlling my situation, the weaker I became and soon, my health was so deteriorated, I could barely walk.

   Oh, how my flesh fought, resisted, and resented this humble position of needing others to do things for me that had been so easy before. Needing medication to sleep, needing my husband to wheel me into doctor appointments because I was too weak to walk, needing my mom's help in numerous ways, needing to depend on my older kids for things I could have easily done before. Needing, needing, needing!

   I love to do! I thrive on doing things for others, for God. But God took my ability to do away and as I spent so many long days with Him, over and over He would say, "I love you, not because of what you can do. I just love you." I couldn't understand that. It didn't make sense to this self-sufficient, self-reliant, proud, able-bodied, independent, performance-driven, stubborn-bent person - Me. God just loved me, even though I couldn't do anything for Him? I couldn't be the wife, mom, friend, or Christian that I thought would make God happy. I no longer possessed the ability to be the ideal of all of those roles, or at least the ideal I had in my mind.  All I could do was just sit or lie there and cry at times, and He actually loved me when that was all I could do? That completely blew my view of God out of the water and changed the way I had been looking at Him and at myself. My errored view of myself and God had to be fixed and God used my sickness to remedy those areas.

   The time I spent with the Lord when He was all I had to hold on to in my darkest hours, they are the sweetest that I have ever known. In those moments on death's doorstep, I was so close to God. As I look back at that time now, while I was getting what I thought was a taste of hell, I also can't deny the incomparable intimacy I experienced with the Lord that was as if I were in heaven. I find myself at a loss for words to describe those months. I suppose my best description would be surreal. In the middle of the agony and severe distress, there was God. His presence was so close, so near, and His love covered me and melted my heart which was hurt from lies I'd believed about God and myself.

   While I still pray for physical healing, this isn't my main objective in prayer. I am learning to look past what I want physically and submit to what God is desiring in my life spiritually. I am not to be ordering God around and demanding things from Him, but rather, my life and heart should be centered and ordered around God's will and desires. My desires and requests should be in line with His desires. Jesus is my example as I continue on my journey. He suffered more than I ever will, yet He was God.

   Instead of asking myself, "Why am I suffering?", I think it is important to ask, "Why did God suffer?" When this question is asked, it puts everything in a different perspective and helps me get my eyes off of myself and onto the Lord. Keeping my gaze heavenward and setting my mind to think eternally changes the way everything looks.

   In spite of the conflict that occurs between my flesh and spirit, there really is a peace that surpasses understanding when I am fully submitted to God's will for my life. Sometimes there are just hours in a day when I am experiencing that perfect peace and the other hours are spent battling my will to submit to God's. Some days are easier than others to be content and thankful. Other days it is a fight with my flesh to just say, "thank You, God...Your will be done."

   I am in no way saying this is easy, friends. This trial is the hardest thing I've ever faced. It has tried me beyond what I thought myself capable of enduring and I know that is only because God has been carrying me through this, covering me, sheltering me, protecting me and strengthening me. To think that God loves me so much that He would walk through this AGAIN with me. Yes, AGAIN. I say that because He already endured all this. But He is by my side, journeying with me on this path of suffering that He Himself took alone. I'm not alone. And even more than that, when I think about how much I'm hurting at times, I just remember that my Heavenly Father has me covered and He is the One receiving the heaviest of the blows. The little stones that pass through to me and hurt are nothing compared to what God is enduring for me while we walk through this together. God has my best in mind and I resolutely hold to that as I continue walking this path of suffering. Along the way, there is healing. It just doesn't always look the way we pictured it. But deep down in my heart, I know the healing God has done and continues to do in my life is better than any healing I had imagined or hoped for. Not my will, but God's be done.

   I used pictures from a visit to a butterfly exhibit throughout this post, because I feel at times that I'm stuck in a dark place that I'd like to get out of and I don't see the point of being here at times. But just like a butterfly in a cocoon, there is a transforming work being done in my heart in this dark place that takes time and I believe it is beautiful. One day, I know I will see the beauty that will be revealed that I believe in faith is being developed.

Finding healing in more ways than one,

Friday, June 27, 2014

Story Behind the Song: "Why Are We Silent?"

(Music video is at the bottom if you're in a hurry!) 

  A couple posts ago, I talked about the three big prayers that God has answered for me through my health crisis. One of them was restoring my passion for the lost.

   "Why Are We Silent?" is a song that was written the evening I came home from going out and sharing the gospel. I was so filled and excited! It was such an incredible experience! I remember just sitting down at my keyboard and this song pouring out. It was one of those quickies.

   But I wasn't always pro-evangelism, at least not when it came to me evangelizing. I was all for those called and gifted in evangelism. I even thought I was going to be a missionary when I was a little kid. But being a missionary to me meant going to another country on a missions trip, not talking to people in my own country about the gospel.

   And that was the other thing. I really didn't have a good, accurate understanding of what the gospel of salvation really was until after I was married.

   God used my husband, who is a naturally gifted evangelist, and Way of the Master ministry (which, I'm sure, many of you are familiar with), to not only teach me the true gospel, but to also challenge my resistance to sharing it. At first, I found Way of the Master's approach appalling and offensive. I could not imagine talking to a perfect stranger about sin instead of God's love and forgiveness. But as time went on, I began to understand that the sacrifice of Christ on the cross and the work of salvation wouldn't make sense to a person who wasn't convicted of their sin.

   So I began to share my faith discreetly. Being a reserved, shy person, I wasn't comfortable jumping right into witnessing one-on-one. I'm not saying my approach is the best or ideal, but this is what worked for me. Think getting in a pool gradually, instead of just jumping in...that was me. I began by just leaving tracts here and there while I was out. After washing my hands in a public restroom, I would look around and make sure no one was around and then I would quickly deposit a tract on the sink counter and flee depart from the restroom. Or leave a tract on a table right before running out of leaving a restaurant. I mean, I was sure to NEVER see that server again, right?!

   Right, so I had some serious fear and confidence issues. Not to worry! I then started being able to actually hand a tract to people in person. I know! Wow! =P The girl in the parking lot, the cashier at the store after I had get the picture. And I slowly began to say intelligible words along with the tract giving instead of just stammering and mumbling something dumb and acting very unnatural. At first it was, "Here you go", or "This is for you". I got bolder and would say, "It's a good person test, to see if you're really a good person", or "Here's a gospel tract. This message is really important". Wow! I was starting to act normal about it! haha! =)

Image used under Creative Commons license,
photo by Chris Yarzab on Flickr
   Then I finally got all the way in! I went out with some other ladies and I think we just ended up at a park talking to some people there, but it got my feet wet and was an awesome experience. After that, a sweet sister and I paired up and went out together a couple other times, while her husband went with mine. We had some really sweet conversations with people, some awkward moments with one or two others, but overall, our times were so fulfilling, so incredible. Seriously, if you've never witnessed to someone, you don't know what you're missing out on! It's a thrill and is exhilarating! =)

Image used under Creative Commons license,
photo by Chris Yarzab on Flickr
   We went out a few more times with other people and there was one time with my mom that puts a lump in my throat when I remember it. There was a group of teenagers at an outside shopping mall and we started talking to them and there was a teenage boy and girl in particular that were really listening. Their friends kind of hung back and weren't interested. But these two young people listened intently. The girl had been in some trouble and her friend had recently died. She was crying as we shared the gospel with them. The young man had never heard anything about God, Jesus, or the Bible. In fact, I don't think he had even seen a Bible before. My mom gave him the one she was carrying. I remember we walked by them again a little while later after we had went on our way that evening and the guy was holding the Bible in a sort of awe and showing his friends. I wonder to this day whatever came of those two young people. Did either of them receive Christ? I guess I'll never know...unless in heaven, I recognize their faces. I truly hope that I do. =)

   One thing I would like to point out is that Way of the Master is a great starting point and they give you great tools to get you started in sharing your faith and encouraging you to continue. But this can quickly and easily become a method that you use mechanically instead of relying on the Holy Spirit to guide you in life-giving conversations with people. Just my two cents.

   And I would say if you are a woman, don't bring up the commandment about adultery and what Jesus says about lusting in your heart (unless the Lord prompts you to). As a woman, you are already vulnerable, but especially when you are speaking to men, this question can be easily turned into something inappropriate. I've experienced this firsthand and it was very unpleasant. There are enough other commandments to help people see the condition of their heart and where they're at with God.

   Anyway, this song is a challenge to us as believers. Why are we silent when lost souls are crying out? I don't know if you ever take time to observe people, but I do sometimes, many times inadvertently. I might be waiting in line at a store and I notice someone and you can read some of their story on their face and you can literally hear their soul crying out. Why are we silent when we've been called to GO and share the gospel to all men? This question: Why are we silent? This is the question I want to encourage all of us to not just think about, but to ask ourselves and do something about. Stop being silent! You have a message to share!

   (By the way, THIS TRACT is my personal favorite because it has the full gospel in it and that is really important to me, because if I'm not able to have that one-on-one conversation with someone, I want them to at least have something they can read that will walk them through the main points in a clear and concise manner.)

"Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen."

Matthew 28:19-20

“If sinners will be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our bodies. And if they will perish, let them perish with our arms about their knees, imploring them to stay. If Hell must be filled, at least let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go there unwarned and unprayed for.”

- Charles Spurgeon

   Here's today's video! I always love to hear what you think about this stuff, so fire away. I know I've shared some heavier stuff lately. It's just what's been on my heart. God bless each of you as your pursue God and His purpose for your lives.

All glory to Jesus,